For a long time I have felt strong discomfort posting photos showing my face on internet, especially when it comes to my professional work. I have believed that my work is what I do and how I do it, the soul and art I put it in, not what I look like. And it is true. I still feel like this and I will always do. What I came to discover with a lot of pain under this discomfort though, are strong mind restrictions, limiting self-believes, rotten thinking patterns and principles rooted in fear I have had inside of me for many years.

Bill Plotkin in his book “Wild Mind” calls these thoughts “loyal soldiers”. Loyal soldiers are self-protection mechanisms whose mission is to loyally protect us from any kind of hurt (physical, psychological, social, and/or economical hurt) but in return, they keep us small and far behind our full, integral growth as human. My loyal solders for example, have been keeping me small by opposing the idea of showing photos of me publicly. In this way, they made me reject an essential part of who I am, which is how I look like.

We all have these limiting thoughts in ourselves. Perhaps for you is singing out loud, dancing in a crowd, sharing the poems who secretly wrote at night, hugging the ones you love with humbleness, crying, saying confidently your opinion, doing the one thing you have always wanted but have been postponing and postponing. Yet I assure you that by allowing yourself to be the way you should be, is so liberating and so deeply healing.

I am quoting here a poem by Marianne Williamson, a poem that touches my soul and explains why liberating from our fears is so healing.

Our Deepest Fear By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small

Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,

As children do.

We were born to make manifest

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

So, today I am sharing an intimate photo of me, a version of me that only few have seen. This photo is captured by my youngest sister with an analog camera, black and white film, during one of our mushroom foraging walks last winter. I am sharing it with the wish that my liberation from my limiting thoughts regarding sharing photos of me publicly, will serve as an opportunity for liberating you. How are you taking this opportunity?

Eleni Michail